So I'm at the doctor's office today, fishing through the contents of my purse for my insurance card, and I notice this middle-aged guy next to me kind of eyeing me with this weird smile.

Musey: ...hi?
Creepy Dude: Are you a lifeguard?

(Nota bene: I can't swim.)

Musey: Um...no, no I'm not. Why?
Creepy Dude: *earnestly* Well, I noticed you have a whistle on your car keys.

...Sometimes, Philadelphians are refreshingly naive.

This may be why we were the Murder Capital of the US before New Orleans took over.

That may be why I have a whistle on my keys.

But really, I didn't have the heart to go "Oh, no, haha, that's a rape whistle," so I just kind of giggled nervously and skittered away. *le sigh*